This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
