So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
