i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
no you cant smoke seaweed
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
