"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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