At least make sure they are 18
Why
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Randomize
