Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
