maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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