Well apparently he's into motor boating.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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