I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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