you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Randomize
