Your face is a jimmy john
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
