Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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