This girl is more easily done than said...
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
