did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Randomize
