Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
