i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
