I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
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