I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
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