Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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