i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
