So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
