The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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