I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
