he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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