around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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