He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I'm getting married
To pizza
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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