In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
