So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize