Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Randomize