he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
