I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
