i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Those nachos came to me in a dream
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
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