Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
