I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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