He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize