waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
sex in a hospital.. check
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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