It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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