im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Randomize
