would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
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