Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize