i was rollin on her like bob the builder
someone owes me an orgasm
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
