Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
