I miss vodka workout Fridays
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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