I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
