I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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