And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
