That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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