You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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