Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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