garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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