apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Randomize
