Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
