Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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