Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize