did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
How's work?
Spinning.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
