i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
