I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Brb crying the tears of my youth
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Randomize
