shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
