i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
