Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
