I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
we're so committed to being not committed
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
